After talking to rick, here's some other changes made...
1. the camera angle is looking up at malc's face from the phone now, rather than from malc's view point looking down at the phone. This also lead to me changing his reaction, he now looks round (as if he dosn't know who's phone is going off)
2. he looks down at his phone during the long shot (after the above shot)
3. instead of cutting from the long shot to the close up of Malc's eyes, now (because Malc's looking at the phone in his pocket) the close up also has Malc going from looking down to looking straight at the camera.