Treatments....again

Visual Representation of writing a 'Treatment'

So, we have to do a treatment for are short film, ok, this is my first attempt and my only attempt up to now...

Try 1
...'By showing close-ups and abstract imagery of a broadcasting studio, I hope to fool the audience into thinking something else is going on and that preparation for a live broadcast isn’t happening until the end, when its reviled.'


My short film, doesn't really have a story, but dose have an ending....sort of, so i'm confused on how the treatment should look. This first try seems to describe it how i want it describing so maybe its correct?
I may need a description of what i want the audience to think is going on, but apart from that i don't know how i can elaborate on it........ and also how it will end, saying how it will conclude.


Try 2
By showing close ups and abstract imagery of a broadcasting studio, I hope to fool the audience into thinking something more serious and exciting is happening and that preparation for a live broadcast isn’t happening, until the very end when a wide shot is shown of the studio.

Is this right?!?!?!??! who knows!

The rest are in a word document (+the final) to hand in for assessment